Lucky number thirteen, hm? We're powering through The Blog-tember Challenge and today's prompt is one I'm especially excited to read everyone's thoughts about. It's a chance to tell your story, perhaps one of the most personal prompts on the list, but I think that's why many of us began blogging anyway. We wanted a place to share our stories, our joys, our struggles, and to find others walking similar paths. Today, let's take the time to hear and encourage one another, shall we?
Today's prompt: Your current relationship status. If dating/married, give us a glimpse of your story! If single, share about this special season.
Savor your season. That is something I am trying to do and that I will admit right away I am not very good at doing currently. I'm a planner, a goal-setter, and a race runner (figuratively speaking, of course. I don't really run... ever). I'm always eager for the next thing, ready to plunge forward. Who needs a slow transition? Why not just jump, right?
Savor your season. Those words have become a mantra these past few weeks, and I want to write it on everything. I don't want to miss this season, wishing it away as I prepare for the next. Where I am right now is important and intentional. And that includes being single.
Singleness is a word that everyone has wrestled with at some point in their life, whether it is briefly between relationships or over an extended period of time. It often has a negative connotation and is a label we cringe at. Single. For a long time I felt as though being single meant I was less-than, unwanted, unworthy, and unnoticed. If I was single I was obviously missing the "wow" factor that other girls had. If I was single, that meant something was wrong with me, right?
In the past few years of being single, my position on the subject has been changing.
Praise the Lord for that!
He has done a work on my heart that I can only attribute to Him. If you know me, my tendencies, and the way this old ticker in me works, you'd know where I struggle and how deep many of my desires are rooted. I have a picture of what my future "should" look like and some of those dreams include a big house on a piece of land, packed with family and friends, and walking through life with a husband at my side. I've wanted these things since before I can remember.
For a while, I began to think these desires were wrong. I wrestled with how I could want something, someone, more than Jesus when He was offering me intentional, beautiful, unconditional pursuit and love here and now. I begged for the desire to go away. I tried to put it in a box. I did everything I could to tackle it. On my own. No wonder I didn't get very far.
But now these desires don't worry me as much. I still have them, don't doubt that for a second! But I look at them differently. It was reading the oh-so-familiar verse, Psalm 37:4, which says, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." The way it was taught, or understood, by little ol' me years ago was that if I was the good Christian girl who sought Jesus, then the things I wanted would naturally fall into place.
I do believe that God delights in giving gifts to His children, but I also believe that if we delight ourselves in Him, He will be the one who puts the desires in our hearts. If we align ourselves with His Word, His Will, and His Work, then naturally we will begin to want the things that He wants, and we can trust Him with the matters He places on our hearts.
I firmly believe that my desire to marry someday is from Him. But I don't believe that the desire is a guarantee it will happen. I believe in having big faith and hope and praying with boldness, presenting our desires to Him, but I also believe that the desires He puts within us are for a greater purpose. For His purpose. In this season, I believe my desire for a relationship is meant to point me back to Jesus. When and where I struggle, He's there. When and where I rejoice, He's there. The intimacy I crave, He provides. The pursuit I believe is possible, He initiates. The trust, protection, and covering I want, He offers with open hands and welcoming arms.
Wanting a relationship is not wrong.
Being single is not a less-than calling.
Pursuing Him no matter your season... that's what He asks of us.
So there you have it, friends. I'm single. Footloose and fancy free. I'm not always excited about it. It's not always easy. But I'm learning to savor my season, no matter what it looks like, and to rejoice in the grace He provides each day.