It's been one of those weeks. Two of those weeks. And a half. You know, those weeks where you wake up with so much motivation, a to-do list a mile long, and the perfectly scheduled day ahead only to hit the snooze button and with it zap all of those things out the window.
It's been one of those weeks.
Classes started, Lifegroup picked up, planning started for the student society.. add work into the mix and I'm pretty set.
"It's really not that bad. Not too much to handle, it just sounds like a lot." I can't tell you how many times those words have come out of my mouth leading up to this semester and within the past 18 days. I like to have everything under control. I'm simply one of those people. But the thing is, I can't and don't have everything under control. Ever.
My year ahead is full. Abundantly full! And I am so thankful for it. My God is a good God who has blessed His daughter well, and I am so thankful. But I cannot hoard these gifts and try to master them on my own. They take daily surrender. Surrender back to the One who gave them to me in the first place. Who has
trusted me with them. Surrendering, for me, isn't easy. And honestly I haven't been doing much of it.
The things I love become part of a to-do list when I have too much on my plate. People I hold dear have to be penciled in and rescheduled time and time again when I put off my homework or spend too much time on Pinterest (let's face it, that's a regular thing).
This blog, which brings me so much joy, is on the back burner under about six other things, and that saddens me. Amidst all of these things, these opportunities I have and passions I've been given, I've started comparing.
Her blog has more followers. She's more joyful and she's not doing nearly as much as I am. Why does he get the spotlight? Why can't I just get a little more attention?
He this... she that... It's a never ending cycle. And it puts my focus on my insecurities and weaknesses in the world's eyes rather than handing those over to the One who delights in filling those places.
But there is
grace.
Hallelujah, there is grace!
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26
I am forgiven, I am wanted, I am loved.
And so are you. It does not matter how many things I check off my list or how many people I impress, none of that can change my standing with the Lord. He always calls me worthy. He always has time for me. He always sees me and welcomes me back into His arms, and that is where I should want to be first and foremost.
My priorities must shift in the coming weeks and I am sharing all of this with you so you can help hold me accountable. I admit that I am weak in many areas, but I'm believing that the Lord will step into those areas of weakness and show me His great mercy and strength, revealing more of Himself to me than ever.
So do bare with me :) And I pray that wherever you are feeling weak, you will feel an abundance of God's goodness, provision and strength as you surrender those areas. Know you can expect great things from your Father! He delights in being your Savior!
And while I'm being honest, here is a glimpse into this week's mess. Isn't it lovely?
Praise the Lord, there is grace! And a sweet encouragement from a friend reminds me that my schedule isn't everything. The Lord is still good, day in and day out :)